An emotional conversation with my mum – aka LOZZA – on the pod. She took me on a journey through her childhood in Leicester in the 60s, to spending her teens in Pakistan in the 70s. We speak about her experience of being dual heritage, raising an only child in an Asian culture and returning to the UK with nothing else but two suitcases. It’s raw, it’s honest but it’s beautiful 🎙️
I have so many lingering thoughts, so many painful memories. Memories that had been disolved and diluted over time as I was caressed with kindness and love. But the hatred, the divide, the terror, it has brought it all back to surface. It’s making me scared, angry and confused.
The constant fear of being “othered”. Othered for the colour of my skin, the roots of my ancestors, the religion I love. Racism, a little current and other times, it’s hate filled tidal waves.
Neither here, nor there. Where do we go? Where is home?
Time and time again, I can’t help but question, over what? The media, the politicians, those heartless beasts creating a rhetoric that’s raising hatred and pain. Causing divide and no long able to control the reign.
Living in a state of freeze or flight and wondering whether the people of colour around me are feeling the same? Are they petrified of what is yet to come. Tensions higher than ever before, making me crave a sense of belonging even more.
Worried about stepping outside of my door. Afraid of the possible risk and anger at the core. This side, that side, our side or their side. The only side I want to belong to is a side of love, nurture and inclusivity.
I may not be good with words, but I am good with feelings that I know. Sharing my emotions knowing that many of you, regardless of the skin of your colour are able to relate to a thing or two.
It’s so triggering for many of us, we are on a journey to find and lose our identities. Time and time again questioning our belonging. Where do we go? Where do we call ‘home’?
Chatting to my 13 year old baby cousin (at her request). She talks about her accomplishments since starting secondary school less than 2 years ago. We talked about bullying, identity and much more. Super proud of the young person she is becoming! Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bakingwithmomna?igsh=MWE0eGh6emxrdDhrZw==
Celebrating 9 years of marriage by interviewing a very reluctant guest, my husband. We chat about the love of his life (his bikes) and our views on relationships. Come & join us!
Ahmed’s colleague has sadly been diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease (MND), which is a rare condition affecting the brain and nerves. There isn’t currently a cure for this terminal disease. He is doing two bike rides to raise money for a charity supporting the cause.
In conversation with Sumayyah from The Creative Society Manchester. A conversation about friendships, starting a business, chronic pain and everything in between. Come & join us!
What better way to celebrate International Women’s Day than to share a story of a woman who has battled and achieved so much in life. This conversation with a stranger will stay with me forever. It was empowering & inspiring in so many ways and has left me feeling in awe of Holly’s journey. We discussed a range of topics including domestic abuse, eating disorders and body image.
Hey people across the screen! It’s been a little while right? Since I last posted (which was over TWO years ago), I got pregnant and had another baby. It’s true what they say. You lose a little bit of yourself after becoming a mother. Of course, this is not always the case and you don’t lose yourself entirely. But for me it was most definitely true. I lost a bit of me, not even in a negative or a bad way. I lost a bit of me but I gained a whole lot of me. A little more patient, a whole lot more grateful.
Since lockdown and having my second baby, we haven’t been able to travel as much due to life commitments and financial reasons. This blog page was never meant for any financial gain, or for fame or whatever. It was always about my own memories and memoir of stories along the way. Although I have always hoped that maybe one day someone would benefit from the itineraries and travel routes that we were lucky enough to take once upon a time. I sometimes also love looking at all the wonderful moments we captured over the years!
As I touch the keyboards and type without much thought, one thing is for sure. I have truly missed writing and putting my thoughts to a keyboard. This feels like therapy, this feels like my happy place, so here I am. Since motherhood has consumed all five of my senses, that is exactly what I will share. My thoughts, my feelings and all that I feel about becoming a mum.
Motherhood is waking up several times through the night. Sometimes because your child is uneasy or unsettled. But other times just because you want an excuse to check up on them.
Motherhood is craving Nutella on toast but not being able to eat it because your child is allergic to nuts.
Motherhood is sitting down to have a hot mug of tea but just as you take a sip, you hear a little voice saying “poo mummy”. The tea can wait, you don’t want your baby to have a sore bottom. So when you return you drink cold tea, still satisfied and happy your child isn’t constipated.
Mum guilt is the kind of guilt that is unimaginable, unexplainable and quite frankly unbelievable. To me, it’s a bit like grief. It’s the kind of pain that is overwhelming and takes over all aspects of your life. It doesn’t necessarily get any easier, but you grow around it and each stage teaches you a lesson you didn’t know you needed in life.
There are days, when you are physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted and you have nothing else to give. But as a mum, you have no choice but to give. Give and give again. Give every bit of what you have, what you can and even what you don’t have it, you give. And what you get back in return is priceless. The cheeky smiles, twinkling eyes. Those infectious giggles and those loud stomps.
Those are the moments that I cherish and look forward to.
I wear my stretch marks with pride and I want to show off my cellulites as they remind me of how I spent 18 months growing two humans. I don’t want to hide away from my greying hair. I want to show my children that you can love your body, just the way it is. I want them to know that their body is perfect, no matter how it looks. I want them to look after it, care for it but never be ashamed of it.
What a turbulent journey it has been so far. But here we are. A 4 year old and a 1 year old later, I feel so much stronger and happier. I pray to always cherish these moments of gratitude. As I type this, I can already feel my past wounds finally healing, those painful memories fading and the scars becoming a part of my skin. Engraved gracefully in different parts of my body.
Your presence is making me hold onto optimism. I am embracing my strength.
I want to begin by sharing a little back story around this city break to Barcelona.
When it came to writing about Barcelona, as soon as I started to put pen to paper, or shall we say fingers to the keyboard, I realised how special the trip to Barcelona was for me and always will be. My mum and I had planned to go to Barcelona with our friends to celebrate their new beginnings, but sadly they could not join us. Devastated by this news, we suddenly found ourselves being unsure about whether we should still go ahead with the trip. It wouldn’t have been the same without our friends as we were used to spending at least one weekend together every year. After much contemplation, we decided to go ahead with the trip as everything was already paid for and we knew we would make up for the lost time.
The trip to Barcelona took place in September 2017. This was a time where my life truly was a little ‘all over the place’. I had just left my job and family home in Newcastle as I was moving to Manchester to be with Ahmed. My Mum and I flew out on a Thursday evening and returned on the Sunday. The following Monday I started a new job, a new role, in a new city! At the time Ahmed and I did not have an accommodation secured in Manchester so it meant living in a hotel for a few days when I got back. In some ways the trip to Barcelona was the perfect ice breaker with my new colleagues. As well as an insane plan!
Since our friends were unable to come with us, it meant that this was the first time me and my Mum travelled anywhere on our own! I was petrified to say the least to be honest as we both have zero sense of direction when it comes to travelling as I usually have Ahmed to rely on.
However, at the same time the trip felt like a lot of new beginnings. A trip on my own with my Mum, moving to a new city and starting a new job. So much to look forward to despite the unknown.
When we went to Barcelona I had no idea I would start a blog in time to come. But I have put together a brief itinerary of the places we visited while we were there. But most importantly sharing this precious journey with anyone reading this 🙂
Flights: £109.98 return flights for two people with Ryanair. Absolute BARGAIN!
Please see Link above for our accommodation. We split the cost between four people so it worked out okay for us. The place was really quirky and spotless. They provided us with milk, bottled water, juice tea etc.
This was an amazing location as we walked down the street to get the tram into the city centre! Super quick and easy 🙂
Day 1
La Rambla: We woke up super fresh and went straight out for some breakfast. Walking down the La Rambla, absorbing our surroundings. La Rambla is a street in central Barcelona and was completely heaving with tourists and most likely locals too. We found it to be an easy stroll that can be done at any time of day. Unfortunately, you do need to be on your guard against pickpockets on this popular stretch though! There are tonnes of restaurants and cafes located in this area. We tried out a couple of them during or visit and were impressed about the affordability and service.
La Sagrada Familia: After exploring La Rambla we decided to head over to the see the awe-inspiring La Sagrada Famila, a large unfinished Roman Catholic cathedral. This beautiful building was designed by Antoni Gaudi (the renowned Catalan architect) and it ended becoming his biggest obsession.
Can you believe this beautiful cathedral has been under construction for more than 100 years and attracts over 2.5 million visitors per year?
Park Guell: Park Guell is an enormous garden with gorgeous and distinct architectural elements designed by Gaudi. It was listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 1984 and is a place that is definitely worth all the hype that it receives.
It was easy enough to get there, however, it was a fairly steep walk, uphill all the way and took at least 15 mins (probably more). So it might be worth considering getting a taxi there.
Point to note: We made a huge mistakes: we didn’t pre-purchase tickets. Tickets have timed slots and limited numbers so it was completely sold out by the time we got there. So we only go to explore the outside of the park. I still thought it was worth the journey as the park was like no other that I have been to!
Day 2
Casa Batllo: I thought I had seen it all in terms of architecture, but I was so wrong! Casa Batlló is a building in the centre of Barcelona. It was designed by Antoni Gaudí, and is considered one of his masterpieces. As soon as we arrived at Casa Batllo, we were immediately reminded of what a genius Gaudi was. His work and imagination was truly unique in every way, shape and form. I have not seen architecture or buildings like it anywhere in the world.
Top tip: Book the tickets in advance! Once again we made the mistake of not booking the tickets earlier and by the time we arrived, the queues were so long it put us off from waiting to purchase them. We wanted to explore some more of Barcelona so ended up getting some cold drinks and wandering in the gorgeous streets of Barcelona for an hour or so!
We never got to see the inside of this amazing building. Perhaps a reason to return to Barcelona?!
Palau de la musica catalana (Palace of Catalan Music): The most beautiful concert hall in the world! I kid you not. In a city filled with incredible architectural masterpieces by Gaudi, I would not be surprised if people have not heard of this stunning piece of architecture. This beautiful concert hall was built in the early 1900s and was declared a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 1997.
We paid for a guided tour of this beautiful building and were so impressed by the experience. The tour was well presented and well priced! We would highly recommend seeing this place for yourself!
Caterdral de Barcelona: From Palau de la Musica, we made our way to the Cathedral of Barcelona. We entered the Gothic Quarter district which is one of the oldest and most beautiful districts in Barcelona. It is home to lots of little restaurants and shops.
We ended the trip with some delicious Paella and discussing my crazy plan to live in a hotel for a few days and starting a new job! I could not have asked for better company and weekend before starting a new chapter in my life.
Barcelona was the perfect getaway! It offered great public transport, stunning architecture, city life, and the best part: delicious food. A city trip of about 3-4 days would be enough to cover most of the highlights. I have only shared some of the things you can do during a Barcelona city trip.
The absence of seeing Muslim travellers around the world was initially one of the reasons for starting my blog and sharing my tales online. Since starting the blog my life has changed so much and I have experienced many different things and challenges. From climbing the highest three peaks in the UK, to moving to Manchester to having a baby… you name it!
Three years ago, moving to the North West was one of the big life changing events. In these three years I have always been eager to explore the North West and call it “home”. So I made a list of “places to see” and we explored lots of different parks around the north west as a couple and as a family when Nael came along.
We came across the Muslim walking group on WhatsApp recently and I feel like it was such a blessing for us as a family. The group is run by the lovely Dr Amir Hannan who is an organised, kind and approachable leader. His strong leadership skills means that the walks are well organised and the participants well informed.
The details of the walk and the link to the groups website (for the purpose of registering for walks) were shared on the WhatsApp group in order to sign up for the walk the day before. The chosen place for last weekend was Dunham Massey with the walk scheduled to start at 2pm.
As Ahmed has recently really got into riding his bike, he decided to ride his bike to Dunham Massey which would have taken him about an hour. It worked out well for me because while he headed off for his adrenalin fix, I got to stay back home and get organised before driving down with (our almost two year old son) in time for the walk.
Due to Nael not lasting very long in his pushchair we decided to take our toddler carrier with us which was brilliant as Nael got to enjoy all the gorgeous views and we didn’t have to keep stopping. Dr Amir also offered to carry Nael which was a bonus as it’s always nice to know there’s an extra pair of hands/shoulders to carry him if it gets too much!
We have always enjoyed walking as a family but recently we have been slacking and getting lazy about going outdoors, so this group encouraged us to take part to get some fresh air last weekend. We even managed to actually walk almost 10,000 steps which is something we haven’t done in quite some time.
The group is diverse bunch of individuals who are welcoming towards people of all abilities, ages, genders and backgrounds. Although it targets Muslims, it is not exclusively for Muslims only. Anyone is welcome to join in and enjoy some time being outdoors. Even though it was only our first time, we instantly felt included and accepted.
After a very long time it felt amazing to feel part of a community that gave you a sense of belonging. Chatting and engaging with like minded people whilst enjoying our surroundings felt truly refreshing!
Ps. Dr Amir is also a fabulous photographer which means that you’ll have long lasting memories with picturesque views. You can’t really go wrong with that!
There’s even a story behind this photo…. we all kinda freaked out seeing the huge puddle, so we all tried to figured out the best way to go across without getting our shoes completely covered in the muddy water. Some of the walkers decided to venture straight through while others crossed as best they could by stepping over a half-submerged branch to the side of the track… meanwhile, I decided to show off my physical ability and climbed on to the fence… using it to bypass the puddle I really didn’t have appropriate footwear (lesson learnt for next time). We all had a little giggle and a joke about it but actually what it highlighted was the importance of having appropriate footwear.
We headed back to the starting point soon after and headed straight to the cafe for some well deserved cake and tea… some would say all the good work that we had put in walking was undone… to all these naysayers I say this with a huge smile on my face: ‘Live a little!’
After having a splendid day with the group, we can’t to join them again next weekend for yet another exciting walk!
If you would like to find out more about this group or are interested in joining it please see the details at any one of the links below:
(+) The location was around 10 mins away from the Milan Central station which made it extremely convenient. The hotel was surrounded by that of restaurants and cafes, not to mention a rather decent restaurant almost next to the hotel. The breakfast was included with the room and had a variety of things such as eggs, pastry, fruit, yogurt and cake.
(-)The property was old fashioned and out dated and over priced for what it was. No doubt the facilities were clean, but just needed modernisation. The minibar was extremely overpriced, as we ended up paying 12,50 euros for a small bottle of water! Talk about Daylight robbery!
(+) You couldn’t go wrong with the location and the hospitality was amazing. It is just round the corner from Santa Lucia station, it took us 10 mins to get to the bed and breakfast. Even though it was considerably late in the evening, Giorgio was waiting for us at the entrance (even though the reception closed at 5 pm). Exceptional customer service. The breakfast spread was decent with a variety of cakes and tarts, and tea/coffee. The property was We had asked for the taxi to be booked for an early train and Giorgio made of point of personally being present early to make sure we got a taxi.
(-) We didn’t expect the property to be in a building (on the 5th floor of an apartment building). To be fair there were other B&Bs in the building as well.
(+)Firstly, the customer service was amazing. Not only were we able to check in earlier than we were expected to, we were given a brief about Cinque Terre, with print outs of train and bus schedules, and maps of the village and the region. The location couldn’t have been better – we were right at the harbour area and the views from the room window were breathtaking. It was a pleasant surprise that we have tea and coffee (and a kettle!) in the room. A couple of bottles of water and juice (and biscuits) were also provided free of charge. The bed was comfortable and facing the windows, which was great. Ample towels were provided and the cleanliness was immaculate. The rooms and bathroom was heated (and we didn’t expect a washing machine!)
(-) The room that we had booked was the sea view double – but we strongly recommend that you book the higher room with the terrace: reason being, because of the wooden floors and the stairs outside, it got noisy when guests in the higher room even moved around or used the stairs. There was a frosted window in the room (over the stairs) which lit up the room when someone lit the lights in stairs.
