I have so many lingering thoughts, so many painful memories. Memories that had been disolved and diluted over time as I was caressed with kindness and love. But the hatred, the divide, the terror, it has brought it all back to surface. It’s making me scared, angry and confused.

The constant fear of being “othered”. Othered for the colour of my skin, the roots of my ancestors, the religion I love. Racism, a little current and other times, it’s hate filled tidal waves.

Neither here, nor there. Where do we go? Where is home?

Time and time again, I can’t help but question, over what? The media, the politicians, those heartless beasts creating a rhetoric that’s raising hatred and pain. Causing divide and no long able to control the reign.

Living in a state of freeze or flight and wondering whether the people of colour around me are feeling the same? Are they petrified of what is yet to come. Tensions higher than ever before, making me crave a sense of belonging even more.

Worried about stepping outside of my door. Afraid of the possible risk and anger at the core. This side, that side, our side or their side. The only side I want to belong to is a side of love, nurture and inclusivity.

I may not be good with words, but I am good with feelings that I know. Sharing my emotions knowing that many of you, regardless of the skin of your colour are able to relate to a thing or two.

It’s so triggering for many of us, we are on a journey to find and lose our identities. Time and time again questioning our belonging. Where do we go? Where do we call ‘home’?